29th February 2012, Dragon Year

At around 7.26am on this date, 24 years back, a girl was born.
She has been known as Ain Shaqirah since then :)

I am 24 today.
It has been a very good year so far.

I got a job offer, starting on March 1st.
I had once wished to get a new job for my birthday, and Alhamdulillah, Allah's will, I do have one :)
InsyaAllah, will be a permanent one.
Pray for me ya?

Takda apa yang aku perlukan lebih buat masa nih.
Aku ada keluarga yang happy, kawan-kawan yang tersayang.
Semua cukup sempurna.

Cuma, harap goal nak capai ideal weight tuh berjaya lah dalam tahun nih :D teeeheee :P

Toodles!

One of those days

I usually went into busy mode like once in a week.
So, today is one of them.

And I feel miserable!
Not because of the amount of works piling up on my desk,
but it's because the mess that they make to my desk.
I LOATHE messy desk.
That's why my desk is always clear after every work I did.
And sebab tuh jugak orang selalu sindir meja terlalu tidy.
-____-"

Anyways, did u see the calendar?
Or can't you?
Hehehehehhe. Dah mark birthday sendiri. Sangat vain di ctuh.
Bahahahhah.

Klah, kerja memanggil.
Kena siapkan before balik.
Tak tahan tinggalkan meja penuh fail.
Nanti kang keesokan pagi semangat hancur masuk office tengok meja bersepah.

Babai :D

6 months

It's my 6th monthsary here at this agency.
Heeeeeee.
How time flies, huh?

Happy 6th monthsary to me and my other 2 friends.
Hikkks.
Gonna celebrate it with dimsum later.
Hoyeah!!

my happy face

LOL

toodles! :D

A very random post

These 2 days sangatlah awesome ok.
Been out yesterday's night and also hari nih dengan the sampe people.
Just that today I went out dengan sorang jer lah.

How amazing kan when some strangers, ok, not strangers lah, but kenalan gitu-gitu become closest friends ever.
And I miss my clique too.
So much.
Peruz
Effa
Dhil
Eda
Nija
Naj
All 6 of them.
Even though Nija is around, but she's too busy.
Plus, kesian lah, weekdays berhempas pulas kerja. Pagi turun awal, petang balik lambat. Nak ajak keluar pun tak sampai hati. Unless i know how to drive lah kan. Boleh ajak orang keluar.

Oh, talking about driving.
At last, semalam my 1st class (theories) for driving thingy.
Next week computer test, if lulus, then proceed dengan 6 hours bengkel.
You know, blaja tukar tayar, cek condition kereta bla3.
Then lepas tuh baru lah praktikal driving.
Cuak ok.

Semalam malam went out to this restaurant called Magna Carta. Dia dekat Old Court House opposite of Kuching Waterfront.
Food was ok lah. Not that bad, but there are some places better lah.
The price?
Something like Chilli's lah.
Aku takdalah mampu makan tempat mahal macam tuh.
Tapi being 6 months working, that's my 1st time lah makan tempat mahal guna duit sendiri.
Hehehehehhehe. So, agak berkira :P
Gambar makanan and lain takda pulak ambik.
Maybe if my friends uploaded them, boleh lah cilok from her. Ngeh ngeh ngeh.

And today, keluar berdua jer dengan Maini.
It was fun.
Pergi minum dekat Swee Kang, OMG sangat sedap laksa dia.
Then went to One Jaya.
My first time there.
Quite surprising jugaklah lah.
Sebab tempat dia simple, tapi boleh tahan.
Most outlet dalam tuh macam orang yang jual online stuff and bukak own boutique.
So baju dia nice jugaklah, I mean affordable price punya range lah kan.
Janganlah compare dengan jenama up nih.
I pun tak mampu youuuuuu.
And jumpa kedai muslimah jual shawl best2 :P

Oh oh.
Then we tried this yummy frozen yogurt called Hielo.
Sedappp!!
Tapi kan best if dia punya style macam Tutti Frutti.
Hielo nih lebih kepada macam Ice Cream vendor.
Kita order jenis kita nak, dorang prepare for us.
Not like Tutti Fruitti, boleh pilih sendiri, banyak pilihan lagi.
Hielo only has 3 main type of yogurts ; strawberry, original and green tea.

 this was mine.

it's called Olivia.

it has strawberries and cakes.

suppose to be cakes biasa, tapi they ran out of cakes, so instead I had brownies! yummehh!

Oh, we bought this 3 in 1 coney dog.

Magadddddddddddddd! 

Besar gila ok sosej dia. 

Like twice of 1901.

Tapi sedap!

Phewwwwwwwwwww.

After Hielo-ing, we went to Cold Storage.

Almost got knocked by the car in front of us. 

Masa tuh kitorang tengah queue nak masok basment.

Dia punya card tuh macam stuck so the was a queue lah kan.

Ada 2 kereta in front of ours.

Kereta paling depan stuck dekat macine ticket tuh lah.

The one in front of us macam tak sabar nak tunggu, and he suddenly reverse his car secara laju without looking through the rear mirror. 

Almost knocked us okkkkkkkkkkkkk!!

That was scary.

I went panic, tak tau nak buat apa.

Luckily Maini tekan hon kuat and lama gilaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Masa tuh baru dia tengok the rear mirror.

Arghhhhhhhhhhh!

Stress ok!! -_-

Anyways, groceries shopping was fun!

Tapi limited bajet lah kan.

Hahahahhha.

So i bought a bag of mixed salad, extra virgin olive oil, mixed nuts and 5 of Black Pepper Crab instant noodles. LOL.

Why oh why is the diet food is way expensive than the normal food?

Stress ok nak beli salad banyak2 pun out of bajet dah -_-"

After that we go sight seeing area Green Heights.

Rumah orang kaya kat ctuh.

So cuci mata seeing those sexy cars and houses.

Hohohohohoho.

Productive days I must say.

Only when I have extra money lah kan.

Will definitely do that again next time.

Oh man, can't wait bila dah pandai drive nanti.

Tak payah susahkan orang, siap boleh pick them up lagi for strolling around.

Anyways, new look for 2012.

Start guna shawl balik instead of tudung bawal only.

With different styles to suit my "bulatness"

LOL.

And ohh, a tad of make up :)

I tak pandai make up.

I only know how to apply eyeliner.

And of course lah BB Cream and Foundation. 

Tuh jer. Oh oh, Lipstick sikit. 

But not the red one, I prefer pink. :)

See?

Very simple kan?

Rasa macam mature betul lah bila dah reti nak make up before keluar.

Hmmmm.

Tapi aku still keluar simple jer.

Kadang-kadang jer make up.

Oklah.

Lama tak rambling dalam blog.

Cerita pun mengarut jer.

Takda faedah pun.

Hehehhehe.

Esok Monday, hopefully a productive week ahead.

Selamat bertugas semula everyone :)

Sexy

Aku nih kan, jenis yang selalu jer cakap salah dalam keadaan confident.
Maksudnya, aku mesti tanpa sedar dah sebut something tuh salah.
Lepas orang yang bertanya tuh tegur and gelak, baru aku perasan.
Ada aku mention dalam FB semalam and few days back.

Contoh paling ketara and bodoh adalah :

Situasi 1


Orang : Eyh Ain, siapa nyanyi lagu nih eyh? *referring to lagu "Lelaki Seperti Aku" on the radio"


Aku: Ohhhhhh, AZIZ Sattar! Best kan walaupun lirik entah apa-apa. *confident*


Orang : AZIZ Sattar? Eh? Hahahahahahahaha. Biar betul? *gelak guling-guling*


Aku: Alamak, ALIF Satar lahhhh. *blushing sambil gelak cover malu*

Situasi 2

Aku : Eyh, ASK 2011 hari tuh, Sanggul BELACAN macam menang banyak. Nak tengok lah that movie. Macam best. *confident*


Adik : Sanggul BELACAN? Eyh, Sanggul BERACUN lah!!!! hahahahahah *gelak tanpa henti*


Aunty : hahahahahhahahahahahaha *tumpang gelak*


Aku : haaaa haaaa, cerita tuh lahhh! *gelak skali nak cover malu*

And Aunty aku masa tuh adalah tengah driving dalam keadaan laju on our way to Sibu.
Dia gelak macam apa jer.
-_-"
Tahap malu aku dah tak payah susah-susah nak ukur.
Dah tak dapat nak diukur.
Nasib bukan depan boipren ke apa kan?
Eeeeeee.
Suka tau memalukan diri aku nih.

Nih lah satu perangai aku yang aku tak boleh nak kawal ok.
Aku rasa orang paling selalu sedar and gelakkan aku adalah Amira, coursemate aku.
Serious, minah tuh selalu gelakkan aku ok.
Sabar jer lah aku -_-"
Eyh, rindu pulak kat semua coursemates aku, especially the girls.
Huuuuuuwww.

Oklah.
Nak cakap tuh aje.
Aku kan gedik sampai cerita macam nih pun nak bagi tau.
Eyh, suka hati lah kan.
Blog aku *typical statement*

Malam tadi around 3am gitu aku batuk teruk dalam tido.
Perit gila batuk tuh.
Bangun kejap pakai inhaler, then sambung tido.
Bangun pagi nak mandi tuh, makin teruk.
Siap sampai nangis-nangis and muntah-muntah.
Ingatkan kejap ajer.
Sekarang tengah menaip nih, tekak berasa perit and panas.
Rasa pahit pun ye.
And aku tengah control diri daripada bercakap dekat office, kecuali bila perlu.
Suara pun dah mula sexy macam Ella.
So, menjawab aku dicop moody and sombong today kot.

Aku taknak batuk lagi.
Nanti amik masa sampai 3 minggu nak baik.
Aku kalau dah batuk nih, bukan sebarang.
Teruk sangat sampai takleyh control bladder.
Sampai nangis-nangis.
Sampai kahak pun ada darah.
Worst, aku alergik to most antibiotik.
So, solution dia, minum banyak air.

Hoiihh.
Tadi dah nak chow tetiba panjang lagi cerita.
Ok lah.
Nak buat bodo kat opis dulu.
Aku benci bila takda kerja nak dibuat.
Penat menunggu.
Haihhh.
Banyak kerja kang sakit hati jugak, tapi at least masa aku terisi. Kan?

Byeee.

**A trust means EVERYTHING, but once it's broken, sorry means NOTHING**

Eh?

Toasted baguettes with garlic spread, and a cup of cream of mushroom for dipping.

Yeah, that was my dinner just now. And a glass of milk.

Having late dinners lately 'cause too tired to eat, 'cause I reached home at around 6pm-ish, every single day.

So instead of having heavy meals, I have to switch my eating plan.

Hmmmmm.

Rasanya makanan macam nih jer kot aku rasa boleh isi perut.

Dan jugak tak berapa nak berat.

Kan?

Any advice?

Except that I have to reduce the number of baguettes there.

That, I will surely do.

Maybe alternately kan?

Pisang pun ok kan?

Ish, duduk rumah nih asyik naik jer berat. 

Turun pun kejap je yooo.

Kena disiplin lebih.

Huhuhuhu.

Plus, more exercise. 

Sejak tinggalkan zaman belajar nih, rasa stamina makin kurang.

Dulu masa student, masa kat UKM, berjalan kaki jauh-jauh dari fakulti ke BYS tuh hari-hari, ulang alik pun takda problem tau. Siap brisk walking lagi, sekejapan dah sampai.

Sekarang suruh jalan kaki jauh sikit pun dah mengeluh.

Eeeeee.

Rutin makan dah ubah dah.

Takda skip meal.

Tak skip breakfast yang pentingnya.

Makan pun ala kadar jer.

Cuma kena control snacking tuh.

I mean jenis snack tuh kena tukar lagi.

And exercise.

Hoihhhhh!

Pemalas yarabbi nak exercise.

Paling rajin pun jalan kaki.

Lama tak rasa berpeluh lencun.

Lepas berpeluh lencun tuh rasa sungguh lega.

Kan?

Swimming pun aku tak start-start lagi.

Apakah susah mencari swimming suit hat lengan panjang (shirt only) yang bersaiz besar?

Seluar ada dah.

Shirt jer lom jumpa yang sesuai.

Nak beli yang burqinni tuh, ya ampun, mahal nauzubillah.

Dahlah tak banyak size and design.

Ini diskriminasi terhadap wanita bersaiz comel ok *marah*

Padahal diri yang salah sebab gemuk sangat.

Anyways,

bulan November nih insyaAllah banyak yang baik aku nak buat.

Perubahan here and there.

Mudahan dikuatkan semangat :)

Oklah.

Time minum susu.

Seram sekarang asyik dengar masalah tulang wanita tuh.

Mudah rapuh lah apa lah.

Nasib baik lah aku dah mula suka minum susu tepung.

Pendek kata, susu yang tak manis.

Dulu, susu macam tuh aku geli sangat.

Nak yang ada rasa manis ajer aka susu pekat tuh.

Daaaaaa :D

**cuak lah nak blaja driving nih. grrrr**

FF

Friends and Family?

Follow Friday?

Fitness First? *ok, not funny*

Nahhhh.

How about forgive and forget?

Some things are easier said and done. But I don't think it is easier when it comes to forgetting how someone made us feel. Forgive? Yes, that's an easy part for me. But, forget? I don't think so.

It's harder even more when the same person offended me over and over again. The scars are there. You cannot just make them disappear.

People will forget what you say, people will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel.

So, anyways, don't worry. I do forgive you.

It's just that, I won't ever forget.

I am sorry too.

I am no naive, not more neither less

I am blogwalking right now, and my eyes are stuck to this one blog from Lady RaRa. I keep on reading post after post from her. Then, I stumbled upon this entry which I think is very relevant to me.

Entry panjang gila ahead of you.

Why? Because I have a friend that when it comes to talking about religion, she would end up being so emo. Emo here I meant, she would disagreed on every opinions I have and would totally at last, saying things as if I am so dumb and shallow.

OMG, I mean, kalau taknak terima pendapat orang, please don't go sharing about that topic. Aku jenis yang suka share masalah dengan orang tertentu, tapi aku bukan jenis yang akan BINCANG masalah tuh sampai menjadi satu topik perdebatan. Aku cuma nak orang dengar, sekadar luahan hati, bukan mintak tolong selesaikan pun. As simple as that. Tapi ada seorang nih dia jenis sukaaaaaaaaaa sangat BINCANG masalah aku, bagi pendapat dia, and bila aku macam taknak ikut pendapat dia, terus aku kena zassssssss. Habis tuh, aku yang tadi nak share masalah jer, jadi bermasalah lain pulak. Get it? Maybe aku boleh dengar pendapat dia, cuma tak semestinya aku akan terima and ikut kan? Tak salah dengar pendapat orang walaupun tak ikut kan?

Oh takkkkkkk. Dia nih lain sikit. Semuanya kena ikut. Or at least aku kena cakap aku try ikut. AT LEAST. Kalau semua pendapat dia aku rasa boleh ikut, aku ikut lah. Kalau tak, aku directly lah akan bertanya balik apa relevant nya ikut pendapat dia. Haaaa kau. Kalau aku dah bertanya gitu, CONFIRM sangat perbualan tuh akan bertukar jadi gaduh. Sebabnya? Aku tak terima. Hehhhh!

Maybe dia rasa dia tuh lagi tua daripada aku so dia lagi banyak pengalaman hidup (konon), so apa dia cakap tuh semuanya elok untuk aku. Oh my. Semua orang pernah jadi muda. Rasa pengalaman sama. Kan? Biarkan aku buat silap, so aku belajar. Selagi aku tak buat silap, selagi tuh aku takkan belajar. Kalau sampai bila-bila orang nak cakap apa aku buat tak elok, bilanya aku nak tau apa yang paling elok? Aku kena rasa dulu lah kan kesalahan tuh so next time aku tak berani nak buat.

Oh, aku cakap macam nih bukan bererti aku boleh pergi clubbing sambil minum-minum mabuk, merokok, amik dadah, seks bebas macam takda agama. Or pergi bawak kereta laju2 sampai eksiden patah kaki masuk ICU dulu. Bukan semua tuh. Paham-paham lah benda lain macam mana. Contohnya, dapat gaji and teringin benda mahal2 sampai takda duit. Duit aku, kalau aku tak buat apa aku nak, abis aku nak buat apa kau nak? Ohhh cantikkkkkk muka! Kalau aku tak merasa pengalaman yang buat aku serik, macam mana aku nak serik. Kan? Hesh. Susah betul aku nak explain. Anyways, nih antara topik aku pernah luah kat member aku nih, then in the end aku naik bengang jugak kat dia setelah lama betul bersabar. Entry nih aku amik dari blog Lady RaRa.

we only listen to something that we want to hear

kita ni kalau bercakap apa-apa isu pun, tak kiralah bab politik, agama, budaya yang kita tau, kita nak kata pendapat kita sajalah yang betul.

pada aku ini tidak bagus.

pendapat orang bukan sama dan pendapat orang pun bukan semua salah dan pendapat kita plak bukan semua betul tapi kot mana pun kita nak orang terima pendapat kita, hujah orang kita tak mau terima dah. sebab apa? sebab kita rasa kita lebih pandai.

tak baik tu, riak namanya! kalau kita kata kita pandai, kita kena ingat, ilmu Allah bagi kat kita secoet saja. dan dengan secoet tu nak megah riak?


dan sebelum kita nak bercakap, dan meminta orang dengaq pendapat kita, ada lebih baik ilmu yang kita ada tu cukup. jangan setakat kita khatam yang permukaan saja, yang dalam kita haram tak tau, terus kita nak bercekang urat bagitau yang kita ni betul.

dah 4 kali aku type perkataan betul, ok ni yang kelima! haha!

tapi lumrah manusia ni, memang dia nak dengaq apa yang dia nak saja.

ok aku bagi contoh

kita rasa kita kena sihir, pastu kita syak seseorang, pastu kita pun pi la jumpa bomoh/dukun/pawang/ustazpenipu/ustazahpenipu nak pi menengok la kononnya. lepas tu bomoh dukun tu pun terus menipu cakap oh orang tu oh orang ni kalau terel sangat pasepa tak bagi nama terus sekali ic kan? cuma cakap oh ni orang yang baru datang dalam family, matilah kalau ada menantu baru dalam family terus tetiba dia kena, kan? tidakkah dah jadi fitnah macam tu?


kalau orang tu bukan yang kau jangkakan, mesti kau kata bomoh tu menipu

tapi kalau orang tu ialah orang yang kau syaksyak selama ni, terus kau cakap bomoh tu terel!

lepas tu, kau pun mula kukuhkan alasan untuk tuduh orang tu sihirkan kau! kukuhkan alasan supaya kau boleh benci dan buruk burukkan dia.



tapi macam mana kalau orang tu tak sihirkan kau pun? dan kau sebenarnya tak pernah kena sihir pun? sebenarnya apa yang jadi kat diri kau tu sebab kau degil, setan banyak atas kepala, bersangka buruk setiap masa lalu Tuhan bagi ujian untuk uji iman kau? nak tengok dengan sedikit dugaan, adakah kau tahan iman atau kau tak tahan lalu berbuat sesuatu perkara yang dilarang Tuhan?

ok itu contoh aku bagi

contoh kedua

kau suka PKR, kau sanjung Anwar Ibrahim, tetiba pita video sex Anwar leaked, kau tau tu Anwar, tapi kau tak mau menerima kenyataan yang Anwar dalam video, kau cakap tu superimposed! Anwar suci murni, walaupun kau bila tengok video tu kau terpikir - eh awat pipi hitam macam Anwar? - tapi sebab kau cuma nak dengar apa yang kau nak, kau pekakkan telinga, kau butakan mata.


ok aku bukan orang BN dan aku bukan orang PKR, ni aku bagi contoh saja! satgi duk mai maki aku plak! undiku ialah rahsia!


people tend to listen to something they only wanna hear!

tapi tu la kan, manusia ni, bukan maksum, pada aku orang yang macam ni ialah orang yang bongkak, degil, tak boleh menerima pendapat orang, dan

BODOH!

ya la , bodoh la tu, sebab kau ingat kau sorang saja yang betul, pendapat orang semua salah. padahal apa salahnya bukakkan hati, bukak kan akal, fikir. Tuhan pun cakap, umatnya ialah umat yang berfikir! dan fikir tu janganlah dengan nafsu setan, fikir dengan tenang, fikir dengan akal.

ni tak, mau kata orang bagi pendapat sikit, wah kat sini dah melompat nak marah! eh pendapat kau silap! kau salah! aku betul! aku ini! aku itu.

padahal kau pernah terfikir tak bila mana musibah datang kat engkau, sebenarnya adalah dari engkau sendiri? bukan dari orang laen, bukan dari dendam orang.

asma Allah yang 99 tu cuba kita teliti.

Al-Ghaffar - Maha Pengampun!


sifat ni ialah sifat Allah, so jangan takutlah kalau dosa tak terampun, sebab kalau kau mintak ampun, sudah pasti Allah ampunkan kau! pasti! tapi kau, bolehkah senang senang ampunkan orang? yes kat mulut cakap ampun, tapi hati? hahaha! itu bukan kau, tapi aku! hahah!


Al- Wahhab - Yang Pemberi Kurnia
Al - Mujib - Maha Mengabulkan

kau mintak apa pun, dia akan bagi. walaupun kau kafir, dia mesti bagi. kalau dia tak bagi, kalau dia marah ke kafir, dia dah bagi semua kafir mati awal-awal lagi, sekat rezeki sekat segala. tapi dia maha pemberi kurnia. kau cina makan babi, dia bagi rezeki, sampai kaya, beyonce dengan jay z buat itu buat ini nak rezeki lebih, siap doa lagi, dia makbulkan doa depa, kaya raya fullamek glamer satu dunia kenai walaupun depa kafir. jadi bukan hanya doa yang baik dimakbulkan, doa yang tak baik kalau dia nak, dia buleh bagi juga. dan bila dia bagi, itu ialah UJIAN bagi kita. nak tengok setakat mana kita mampu handle ujian tu.

ok satu lagi contoh aku bagi

satu hari kita dapat berita, ayah kita sedang tenat, maka sebagai anak yang soleh kita berdoa, ya Allah ya tuhanku kau selamatkanlah ayahanda ku ya Allah (itu doa yang baik kan?) tapi Allah tak makbul doa kita sebab memang dah sampai ajal bagi pihak ayah kita. dan bila doa kita Allah tak makbul, adakah sebab Allah tak sayang kita, dia ambik balik ayah kita? dan kita kata, awat aku doa yang elok tapi Tuhan tak makbul gak? tapi penah tak kita terfikir, doa kita itu tak makbul sebab pertama - ayah dah sampai ajal dan kedua - Allah nak uji kita dengan kehilangan orang yang kita sayang, nak tengok iman kita setakat mana.

satu lagi contoh

kita ialah artis ternama. kita dikenali. pastu kita kawen wedding of the year. pastu ada peminat doa yang baik baik moga panjang jodoh, ada petakminat yang doa yang buruk-buruk sebab menyampah tengok riak gila! lepas setahun, dengan izin Tuhan, jodoh kita tak panjang. apakah doa yang baik itu tak makbul dan doa yang buruk itu dimakbul?

mengapa doa buruk termakbul plak ni? pernah terfikir tak? doa buruk termakbul sebab dekat artis Tuhan nak uji, selama ni aku bagi kegembiraan apa kata aku tarik balik sikit tengok kau punya iman dan dekat petakminat yang doa tu pun Allah nak tengok, ok aku makbul doa kau ni, sebab dah kau minta, tapi lepas ni kau rasakanlah azabnya sebab minta benda yang buruk-buruk dan aku nak tengok kau nak bertaubat ka tidak!


pernah kita terfikir dak macam tu?

pernah dak? *wink*

kun fa ya kun - kalau dia kata jadi, jadilah. tak kiralah doa baik atau doa yang buruk.

ok sila brain maksud aku ni, terima dengan hati lapang. maksud aku dia makbulkan doa buruk ni, bukan sebab dia benci kita, tapi sebab dia nak uji kita.

doa yang buruk - ujian

kau ada akal, so kau brain la sendiri.



aku tak kata aku betul, tidak tidak, ini cuma pahaman aku. kalau salah abaikan

yang baik itu dari Allah, yang buruk itu dari aku.

dan oh, berbeza pendapat tak menjadikan aku musuh. aku sangat suka berkawan dengan orang yang suka berfikirsebab kita boleh tambah ilmu. cumanya aku tak suka dengan orang yang emosi dan sarcastic bila berbicara bab agama, politik dan bangsa.

Islam itu mudah, jangan disusahkan. dan kita orang Islam.

A Grown Up Joke -_-"

Having not able to go to work because of sickness, is a totally different feeling from what I felt when I was a student. Have you ever felt like that?

I have been working for only 3 months. Ok, it's not a real working experience since I am only attached to my current agency for a program for graduates, but yeah, I would prefer to call it working.

So, today is my first day off working because of sickness. Having diarrhea, vomiting and stuff since 4 am, and woke up at 12pm, feeling so weak and a massive headache, yep, I am definitely stranded at home.

When I was a student, to not be able to attend classes because of sickness was something, ermm, something not to worry about. All I had to do was, went to the panel doctor, had some consultations, brought home different types of meds, and resting. Classes were the least important things and for sure the last thing I have had to worry about, because I know I can rely on my friends for that. Plus, as long as I performed in class, absenteeism is nothing.

But when I have to stay home, feeling all weak like this, had to call my superior some more, to inform her, that was something I really hate about. I never imagine this is the feeling to not be able to go to work. I mean, I feel guilty to spend my sick leave, and even feel so useless, like I am a kind of disappointment. Is this how I am supposed to react? As if I love my job so much that I feel guilty for not showing up? Hell, I don't love my job, yet. I always feel like sitting at home doing nothing instead.

I have never imagine I would feel this guilty for not showing up for work. Hmmmph.

So, welcome to the real world Ain. Congratulations, you have grown up -_-"

Hidup tak selalunya senang.

Tak semua benda mudah diterima.

Tak semua benda harus diterima.

Tapi tak semua benda boleh ditolak sebulatnya.

Kadang-kadang, apa yang kita tak suka, tak semestinya tak elok untuk orang lain.

Cuma setiap manusia ada pilihan dan cita rasa sendiri.

Tak salah berangan.

Cuma kena kembali ke realiti.

Dan janganlah punahkan angan-angan orang.

Hanya sebab kita tak rasa angan-angan tuh boleh jadi realiti.

Kita pun tak nak orang pandang serong angan-angan kita.

Kita tak sempurna.

Tiada manusia yang sempurna.

Belajar terima orang lain.

Kerana akhirnya nanti, orang yang kita selalu tak endahkan, mungkin akan membantu kita.

Sayangi orang lain, sebagaimana kita mahu disayangi.

Terima orang lain sebagaimana kita mahu orang menerima kita.

Cuba faham orang lain, sebagaimana kita mahu orang memahami kita.

Tiada siapa mahu berseorangan.

Sentiasa terima kelemahan orang yang kita sayangi.

Aku menyanyangi sesiapa sahaja yang menyayagi aku.
Aku cuba bersabar dengan sesiapa sahaja selagi diriku boleh bertahan.
Aku cuba memahami selagi perlu.
Aku cuba menerima apa sahaja kelemahan.

Aku cuma minta perkara yang sama.
Aku bukan mainan.
Yang kau cari ketika bosan, ketika susah, ketika tiada yang lain.
Yang kau buang bila tak diperlukan

Manusia memang sentiasa berubah.

**just a random post**

The beginning that ends

Aku rasa aku nih jarang betul nak rasa meluat dengan someone sampaikan tengok nma dia pun naik menyampah.
Except, ada certain people tuh lah.
Yang tuh memang tak boleh nak diselamatkan lagi.

And aku rasa akan ada lagi sorang yang akan masuk list tuh.
Aku dah lama bersabar.
Layan baik-baik.
Dia layan aku nih suka hati dia pun aku bersabar lagi.
Sebab aku hormat dia lagi.
Sebab aku masih dapat faham keadaan dia.
Maybe sebab terlampau busy ke apa kan.

Tapi sebaik-baik aku nih pun, bukanlah alasan dia nak judge aku suka hati.
Bukan alasan dia nak buat assumption itu ini.

Aku tak pernah pun nak bebel kat dia cakap dia tuh membuang masa aku.
Kejap ada, kejap hilang.
Time takda kawan lain, carik aku.
Time ada kawan lain, aku nih tak dihiraukan pun.
And bila dia carik aku balik, aku tak banyak komen pun.
Aku layan jer baik-baik.

But then, bila aku cuba nak fahamkan sesuata yang dia bagi tau,
bila aku cuba nak digest semua yang mungkin aku baru tau,
tiba-tiba pulak dia cakap buang masa explain dengan orang macam aku.
WTH?
Selama nih dia cuba nak faham sesuatu,
sungguh-sungguh aku explain.
Panjang-panjang explaination aku.
Takda pulak aku cakap kat muka dia yang buang masa nak fahamkan dia.

Ohhh, selama nih kau rasa buang masa lah nak fahamkan aku?
Kalau dah macam tuh, kenapa kau timbulkan topik tuh?
Kenapa kau nak lagi contact orang macam aku?

Aku pelik lah orang macam nih.
Kejap kata aku jer yang paham bla bla bla.
Kejap lagi kata yang buruk-buruk pasal aku.

Apa yang dia nak ye?
Baik tak payah lah dia susah-susah nak contact aku dah kalau akhirnya buat bolayan jer.
Aku, in other hands, aku layan baik-baik jer.
Tuh masalah aku tuh, baik sangat ngan orang yang jahat ngan aku pun.

Aku benci bila orang layan aku macam aku nih tak penting.
Aku tak buat orang macam tuh, so janganlah buat aku macam tuh.
Tapi aku rasa, dia memang macam tuh.
As if semua yang dia cakap aku kena ikut and terima.
Kalau aku bertanya lebih, mulalah melenting.
Mulalah cakap aku itu aku ini.

Haihhhhh.
Kalau kau setakat nak ambik kesempatan atas kebaikan and kesabaran aku,
baik kau pergi tempat lain.
Aku bukan tempat untuk kau berteduh bila kau tak ada orang lain.
Aku bukan barang untuk kau guna bila perlu je.
Aku ada hati.
Aku ada perasaan.
And aku semestinya bukan punching bag kau, or siapa-siapa jer.

Silalah try jaga hati orang.
Sila try faham perasaan orang.

Aku pernah cakap, jangan sampai aku meluat and menyampah.
Sekarang kau dah mula buat aku meluat.
Terlampau banyak kau sakitkan hati aku.

Aku tak tau apa masalahnya.
Aku buat baik pun kau layan macam sampah jugak akhirnya.
Apetah lagi kalau aku buat bodoh, lagi kau layan macam tak wujud.
Haihhhh.
Aku ingatkan kau muncul balik kali nih, kau dah berubah.
Jadi lebih mesra and baik and memahami.
Kau cakap konon nak jadi macam dulu. tapi...

What should I do?
Forget you totally? As if kita tak pernah berkawan?
I guess so.

Then, take care.
Aku tau kau akan baca entry nih eventually.
Aku malas nak cakap direct sebab kau memang tak makan saman.
Thanks lah ye untuk apa-apa jer.
Take care.

Done

I am done trying to be good.
Done trying to act like I didn't feel offended.
Done caring.
Done hoping.

I do care so much about people sometimes.
Especially the one closes to me.
But if they didn't even care about me caring for them,
Or they worry too much about it,
I guess I am done here.
And now, worry about me not caring at all.
Worry about me not giving any attention to you.

If I can spend at least a few minutes of my busy life just to get to you,
To just say hi,
So that we wont lose contact,
Why can't you?
Is it so hard?
I don't think it's hard.
Unless you make it hard.
Or you just use that "busy" as your excuse.

Well, hear this.
I won't bother paying much attention to you anymore.
I won't bother looking for you.
I won't bother asking you for anything.
I won't bother trying to update you with my life.
I just won't bother doing anything.
Because it's worth nothing to you.
And I am tired.
Giving attention to people who doesn't even bother.

Don't try looking for me when you have no one.
I have given you my timeless attention,
You didn't try to appreciate it.

So I am going to give my attention to someone else who deserves it more.
You never change.
You are you.
And I am sorry to myself that I still think that we can still be friends like we used to.
No, we actually can't.
I am trying, but you are not.
You didn't try hard enough.
You didn't try to accept me.
You only wait for the new me.

Just, thank you. For whatever.

9/11

Yesterday was the 10th year of 9/11 tragedy.
I really don't care whose fault it was.
I mean, they claim it was the Muslim terrorist,
some claim it was the inside jobs.
Whoever responsible for it,
only God knows.

All I care about is the victims and their families.
It was sad reading all those articles for yesterday's mourning and remembrance.
A kid loses his/her parent/s.
A parent/s loses their child.
A husband/wife loses his/her love.
A friend loses his/her friend/s.
A man/woman loses his/her colleague/s.
A city loses her hero/heroin (police, fireman etc).
That is the one that I cared about.

No matter what religions they are, or what races they are,
victims are still victims.
Especially the victims of violence.
I don't support violence,
even if they told me millions of reasons for them.

Same goes to the victims of war in those Islamic countries.
People said, 9/11 is the platform for war against the Muslims.
Either it is true, or it is just an excuse, I don't care.
I don't blame anyone except the politics behind them.
I know some of the army themselves doesn't approve the war,
it's just their job and they can't escape from it.


Whatever it is,
just don't make this thing a religion issues.
Think humanity.
Be a human for a second,
and put aside all your political thoughts.

I don't support violence even if they are using religion as an excuse.
None of the religion in the world allows violence against the civilians.
War are between armies,
civilians are not included.

Think humanity.
I pray the family of the victims of any violence, not only 9/11, given a strong heart.
I pray for the Muslims' safety in the struggling Islamic countries.
I pray for everyone's safety, free from war and violence.
I wish this world will be at peace one day.
I wish everyone is more human than ever.

I just wish I will stop crying on articles on victims of violence.
It is just too sad.
The images gave me a big impression and it kept on playing on my mind.

I wish I will never given up on humanity.
My hope is still high.
Too see the world at peace.

O Allah, give the world a second chance. Amin.

p/s: If you have any negative comment/s on this post of mine, be it religious ones or stupid political thought, I think you better keep it in your shallow mind (small brain, for sure) because you will just waste your time typing them since I am not going to approve it. Thank you.

Office

Phewwww.
It has been a month since I started working.
Ok lah.
Actually I am doing my attachment under the state government's program.
It's called Capacity Building for Graduates (CBG).
Something similar to Skim Latihan 1 Malaysia (SL1M).
It's just that this CBG thigy dah start lama gila dah dekat Sarawak nih compare to SL1M.
So, nih adalah state government punya benda lah.

I am attached to the Waste Management Unit under the Public Health Division.
Hohohohoho.
Bolehlah.
Quite interesting.
Macam-macam ragam complainants ada. Hahaha.

So far, for this 1st month, banyak blaja procedures dekat cnih jer.
Nothing much lah this month since the boss for my unit nih banyak travelling jugak.
So, mostly all I did was the admin work.
Aku adalah pakar fotostat, binding, laminating, filing so forth and so on sekarang.
LOL.
Kerja up sikit pasal payment to contractor and stuff, still learning.
Managing the complains and cases pun still learning.
Belom keluar ikut inspection lagi or to the site office.
So banyak duduk dalam office jer lah.

Office pulak dah rupa negara bermusim sejuk.
Minggu ke-2 dekat cnih, terus start demam.
Sejuk dia tak terkata.
Menaip pun jadi masalah sebab jari semua keras dibuatnya.
Dah rupa kena frost bite pun ada.
Huhuhuhuhu.

Oh,
tiap bulan akan ada program recycling dekat parking area thic council.
It's quite interesting tengok the amount of people yang actually betul-betul into recycling.
Ramai jugak ye.
Sambutan sangat menggalakkan.
But mostly the Chinese lah.
And selain Chinese around this area, Malays yang kerja cnih and some other non-bumis and Indians pun ada.
Tapi mostly pun staff dekat this council.
Kalau dari public, mostly Chinese.
Maybe sebab kawasan Kuching Selatan nih memang ramai Chinese kot.
I am not quite sure lah dekat bahagian Kuching Utara sana sambutan macam mana.
Tapi yang buat aku yakin the Chinese yang banyak recycling, sebab, most company yang uruskan pengumpulan barang recycling nih pun Chinese owned.

Paling interesting,
Public datang tak hantar barang recycling masa program,
but to redeem points.
Hehehehhe.
Seronok tengok.
Kitorang dah rupa bukak supermarket.
Sebab dekat this council,
buy back centre dia bukan tukar dengan duit.
Tapi tukar dengan household items.
Macam Dynamo, softlan, toothbrush, penyapu semua lah.
Banyk gila ok barang.
Ada datang bawak shopping bag masing-masing and redeem items.
Dah macam orang shopping dekat supermarket.
hehehehhe.

Aku tidur dekat office berdengkur ok!
Pagi tadi datang office awal, macam biasa 6.45am dah terpacak kat desk.
Malam semalam tidur lambat gila ok!
Dalam 12am lebih, bangun sahur 4am lebih, terus mandi then turun kerja before 6am.
Tsk tsk tsk.
Sampai office sambung tido kat desk, sampai kol 8am.
Bangun-bangun jer dah ramai kat office.
Kepenatan gila sampai berdengkur. Hahahahah.
Makcik Salmah bagi tau aku berdengkur. Bahahahah.
Biasanya takda aku berdengkur.
Takpa, macam biasa,
buat bodoh sudah. :D


Eyh,
Oklah, that's all I guess.
Malas nak online lama-lama.
Till then.
Aku nak teman colleagues shopping kejap lagi masa lunch hour.
Ngeh ngeh ngeh.

I hate thinking for title so this is the title. bahaha!

I am so lazy to update anything here.
Adoiiiii.
I don't have the blogging mojo anymore okay.

There are so many things happened this past few weeks.
Watch couple of movies.
Went to few great diners.
Got an offer.
Went shopping in KL.
Met old friends from highshcool.
Mini reunion.
So forth and so on.
Yet, I don't have the intentions to actually blog them out.
See, so pemalas right?

See lah next time if I can get my rajiness out.
Or even move my ass from this stupid laziness.

I have been hanging out on Twitter for quite some times.
Been updating myself there a lot.
Whining and rambling there is so much fun okay.

I have been thinking, I wanna have a Tumblr account.
Cool or nah?

Ditto!

Chipmunk

I just had my wisdom tooth removed this morning.
Excruciating la the pain T__T
Just imagine, after the tooth has been pulled out,
out of sudden the local anesthetic *poof* disappear!
The dentist had not had the chance to stitch the gum yet the LA already gone -_-"
Imagine la how painful it was.
She said to raise my hand if it was painful,
bukan takat angkat tangan, menjerit pun ye.
So she had to inject another dose.
Haihhhhhhhhhhh.

So now,
Don't make me laugh, or even smile.
*Merana*
If I do look so sombong,
paham-paham lah ye :(

Oh anyway,
Anyone who is my friend in FB would know that I complained that I look like a panda.
Then, a friend commented and said that her friend pun baru cabut wisdom tooth and now she look like a chipmunk.
Bila fikir balik, haah, more to like a chipmunk.
But as for my situation,
I look like a chipmunk with only one side chubbier than I already have.

Today,
I had chicken porridge for brunch and dinner.
Huhuhuhuhu.
Cukup syarat to take my ibuprofen.
Quite a strong painkiller kan?
Asal makan jer confirm hilang the pain.
Which, only lasted for few hours.

And kenyang bubur pun very sekejap.
I get hungry so quick than usual.

I have been missing like always.
Even though I had gone out for movie and good food with dear ones,
but then, so lazy to actually took any pictures, or even blog about it.
In these past 2 weeks,
I have had several Dim Sum moments and also movie.
Dim Sum rocks okay! Especially Kim Bay's :)
Thanks to those friends yang introduced the place to me.
I had tried the one at After 3, but, ermmm, so so only la.

It's fun to gather again and catching up with each other's life.
Semua kawan sekolah.
And I can't wait for my cliques to be back.
All of them so we can hang out like before.
Which actually sounds so impossible to gather all seven of us.
Tsk tsk tsk.
Why lah you guys study jauh-jauh?! -_-"
Padahal 3 orang jer overseas.
But still, if dorang balik, mesti ada jer yang dekat local Uni nih tak balik.
See??

Btw, Transformers 3 was awesome!
Wouldn't mind if I have to watch it again.
But the downside was, it was quite slow at the beginning, so a bit boring there.
I still think that the 1st one was the best :D
Oh again,
I prefer Megan Fox la.
Even though in the past 2 movies she was nothing but a barbie doll,
at least I could see chemistry between her and Shea.
Yang perempuan baru nih tak.
Macam tunggul dah aku tengok.
Tunggul yang ada body figure.
Geddit?
-_-"
And now, I am patiently waiting for the last part of Harry Potter trilogy.
Watched the trailer like thousands of times and felt goosebumps every time.
Not putting my expectations too high.

Okay lah.
That's all I guess.
Like always, wrap all activities in a single entry.
Baahahahhahaa.
It feels good okay, to just sit back and relax and not bother about blogging sometimes, okay, every time.
Bila duduk rumah nih,
aku lebih suka rilex mengadap movie dekat laptop.

Anyways,
this Saturday until next Tuesday kan,
I will be in KL *insyaAllah
Lets see how am I doing in KL with the stitches still on my gum.
Hmmmmm.
Balik from KL on the 12th at night, on 13th pagi-pagi dah pergi dentist bukak stitches.
Huhuuhuhuu.

Till then,
aku nak rehat sambil tengok movie.
My mom's in KL :(
No one to cook bubur ayam for me except makcik kedai.
But again, I can bermanja with my dad and siblings for the week :P
Jyeahhh!

Ditto! :D

p/s: Introducing, my sis' pets, Bubu and Bobo.

This is Bobo.

He's super fat and fluffy.

But he loves to bite.

A lot.

He loves sleeping,

and again,

biting.

He NEVER runs on his wheely coz he can't fit it.

And this is Bubu.

He's so small.

But super cute.

This is the biggest he can be.

He loves running on his wheely, 

a LOT!

He never bites, 

so you can pet him always,

but careful,

he's super fast

He had once escape from my sis hand and we turn the house upside down to search for him.

He's my favourite! :D

Boring-boring

Ceyh, baru jer sebulan lebih in hiatus mode. Oklah, almost 2 months lah.
Aku ingatkan lama benar aku biarkan blog nih tak berupdate.
Takdalah lama mana kot.

Malas gila nak update tau tak?
Walaupun hari-hari aku ngadap laptop and internet nih boleh kata siang malam,
tapi keinginan nak update takda langsung.
Hohohohoho.

Banyak jer aku buat masa cuti nih.
Selain makan, tido, mandi, psp, tenet and kemas rumah,
bila kerajinan mendatang, aku akan main masak-masak.
Hehehehhehe.

Hari tuh on Father's Day, aku buat Laksa Sarawak and Oreo Cheesecake.
First time aku buat chilled version punya cheesecake.
Before nih pernah buat baked punya jer.
Kan kena pakai serbuk gelatin, pastuh carik punya carik, payah betol nak jumpa.
So substitute dengan serbuk agar-agar.
Mestilah aku ikut sukatan untuk serbuk gelatin kan.
Sekali kauuuuu, serbuk agar-agar tak sekuat gelatin,
makanya cheesecake aku tak berapa nak firm.
Keluar dari freezer jer, biar kejap dah lembik cheese.
Tapi still sedap gila ok! :P

Selain masak-masak,
benda paling rajin aku buat adalah main PSP.
Sekarang aku main The Sims 2.
Before tuh aku dah habiskan Angry Birds,
nak kumpul 3 stars jer tinggal.
Stress ok main game.
Terganggu masa tido malam aku.
Hehehehhee.

Selain tuh,
kerja aku adalah travelling.
Sampai jer Kuching dari KL hari tuh, 2 weeks after that aku dah dekat KL balik.
Seminggu jugak kat sana, pergi interview kerja.
Then, balik Kuching.
Esoknya terus pergi Sibu pulak.
Spent masa kat Sibu 2 weeks.
Nenek suruh balik daaaa.
Then balik Kuching lagi.
Sampailah sekarang. :D

Another 2 weeks aku pergi KL lagi, insyaAllah.
Saja jalan-jalan dengan aunty and cousins.
Hehhehehe :D
Tiket murah gila katanyaaaaaaa.
Tapi kan, 5 hari sebelum pergi tuh aku ada minor oral surgery.
Nak buang wisdom tooth belah kanan bawah.
Semua orang takutkan aku cakap sakit gila seminggu nak makan apa tak boleh.
Jawabnya, makan bubur ngan eskrem jer lah aku kat KL kang :(

Heh.
Aku pun tak sure apa motif entry nih.
Rasanya saja nak bagi hidup blog sekejap before aku hilang balik.
Aku belom ada mood blogging.
Kalau datang mood blogging tuh,
semua benda aku nak cerita,
walaupun cerita tuh sebenarnya tak ada apa.
Huk huk huk.

Oklah,
aku nak sambung tengok YouTube.
Lagipun sekarang pun sibuk dengan research paper punya writing.
Hohohohoho.
Oh lupa nak bagi tau.
Result thesis keli aku dapat A :)
Alhamdulillah.
Keseluruhannya, aku berjaya naikkan CGPA aku secara mendadak.
Syukur sangat :D

Oklah.
Hari Ahad=Bosan.
Maka aku nak tengok YouTube and main game jer.
Till next time!
Daaaaaaaaaaaa

Travelling much?

Aku baru sampai Kuching dari KL. Tadi lah pukul 4pm gitu landed.

Aku pergi KL Isnin lepas, 16 May sampailah hari nih 21 May.

Esok aku gerak ke Sibu pulak! Fuhhhhh! Kerja aku berjalan sakan jer.

Oklah, tuh jer for now. Hehehhehe.

Babaii!!

p/s: Sangat malas nak update blog bila cuti macam nih tau :D

Fever

I am down with fever, sore throat and just now, I have running nose. Urghhhhhh!

So, tak ada mood nak update apa-apa for now.
Rasa nak tidooooooooooooooooooooooooooo jer sepanjang hari.
Huuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu.

Oh, tadi dapat call from Dekan satu fakulti dekat private Uni College.
Hmmmmmph!
Dia suruh datang interview minggu depan.
Aiyokkkkkkkkk.

Now, aku bertambah confused and pening.
Huhuhuhuhuh.
How la nak carik duit beli tiket last minute nih?
-_-"
Aku dah cakap kat dia macam susah jer.
Boleh dia cakap "You nak kerja ke tak?"
Ahhhhhh, sudah!!
Terus aku terkedu kat ctuh jer.
Memang nak kerja sangat.
Susah kot carik kerja sekarang.
Huhuhuhuhu.

Oklah.
Nak rileks.
Download cerita Vampire Diaries sambil tido.
Heaven!

Babai!

p/s: I just got back, my mom going to KL. And she's in KL now. Issshhh.

Home Sweet Home

Alhamdulillah.

Sampai rumah dah!!
OMG, baru 8 bulan aku tak balik..
Dah macam-macam benda baru dekat Kuching nih..
Bangunan baru banyak naik dah.
Apa gila cepat beno naik semua nih??
Tak boleh terimmmmaaaaaa!!!

Takpa, apa-apa pun..
Makanan Sarawak tetap di perut hati..
Since aku ada banyak masa nak lepak..
So kita rilek dulu.

Esok mau carik Mi Kolok!
Terbaik dekat Bimmers.
Nomnomnomnom..
Takkan jumpa lah yang best macam tuh..
Walaupun dekat Semenanjung sana ada..
Gerenti tak sama :P

Anyways, masa on the way nak ke airport petang semalam..
Aku dapat SMS from Dell, Penang..
Dapat offer untuk join Apprentice Program dorang..
Tapi uolssss, Penang!!
Tak dapat apa details pun sebab dorang suruh aku confirm jer dulu nak join ke tak.
Haishhhhhh.
So, now tunggu jer lah HR dorang reply..
Kalau betul dapat, bila lah agaknya kena lapor diri.

Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
Aku nak stay Kuching lamaaaaa lamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
Tapi tuhlah, tak boleh nak memilih sangat kerja nih..
Apa ingat senang ke peluang nak datang bergolek 2 3 kali?
So kita tunggu dan lihat apa ceritanya.
Kalau confirm diterima, makanya, Penang lah tempat ku...
Kalau tak, kita teruskan mencari kerja..
Baru jer apply dekat Sarawak, tapi Miri.
But still Sarawak..ok lah kot.
Huhuhuhuhuhu.

Oklah, aku mau rilek.
Penat!!
Sampai-sampai dah tengah malam.
Lain kali cerita panjang lebar ye.

Babai!

p/s: Orang kata Penang tuh Food Heaven, ye aku akui, tapi still, dia belum sampai lagi heaven teratas sebab takda makanan macam Laksa Sarawak, Mi Kolok, Swee Kang and the list goes on :P