Friday, October 24, 2008

exam's coming soon~

dearie blog...

it's been quite a while since my last post (lame)'s hard to find time to write blog...ngaaa~~ so busy with JAKSA, trip to SARAWAK(which is my own hometown)...oh yea...STUDY~!! u's kinda hard to divide and manage or even organized a daily schedule(!!)...huuuwww..and to add FB and BLOG into's like... arrghhh!! those 2 are very2 the distracting..huhu..and yet, what the fish, im blogging now....LOL..

well..since my last post...nothing much interesting happen in my life(again...lame) except for the lovely raya we had this year... :D this year's ry was a blast!! gler mom's sibling sumer balek
kg in sibu..except for my anjang (my mom's 1st younger sis, i mean, right after her la..that's what we call back in sarawak) nenek(oh...i just love her so very much) even bought a NEW's very big (properly said...large..hehe) for her business...and guess what...another one, just to store the raya cakes!! (we had like 24 cakes for raya...i said cakes, not tibits!!!)..and i contribute 1 of them(i made this yummy cheese cake...not to say im a good cook, but it's really nice!)..heeee =D oh..what i love about ry gathering and also duit ry!!! waaaahhh...this year i got so much from my nenek(thank u very much)..and my aunts and uncles...heeee(rs cam bdak kecik jer kumpul2 duit ry...dh org nak bg kan? weekkk)..besides duit raya and family gathering..hmm...baju raya...heheh...i think this year's raya the best so far(selain the one when i was 9)..ry was very2 comforting, cheer-ing, loving and lots smpai ry ke-5, kinda sad la(coz that's the day my atok, at my dad's side, died a year ago...)..maseh ingt lagi last year ry...we had this very happy raya with late atok on the 1st day of 2007's raya..suddenly, on the 4th day, he stopped breathing (T_T)..i was at my friends' when it should be my konvoi day with friends and azry's house is the 1st and yet i got that very sad news(dad was crying when he called me)..but i got the news from my lil bro right b4 dad(he smsed me right after the paramedic came to atok's place)..i told my friends(dhil was one of them and she's kinda family-related to me)..then asyraf offered me a drive to atok's(thanx)...and as i reached atok's, there were so many people(i mean family, extended family, friends of atok) kinda nervous tho when i stepped out of the car(mcm tak caye jer it happened)..the 1st person i went to is my lil bro who smsed me earlier..he told me the paramedic had left right b4 i arrived and had confirmed that atok's forever not with still in shocked..i didnt know how to react..sad, confused, shocked, surprised...all in one..however, i have to face it lil bro ask me to go in...i was very nervous as if my legs were sticked to the ground..i cudnt move shacking all the way into the house...i saw my cousins, and they were crying badly..and me?? still no emotion on my not crying, not even smiling(of course!) blur...very blur..atok was buried a day after he died...which means we slept with late atok at that aunt(dad's youngest sis) slept next to atok's coffin..she was crying all day long...until the day atok's buried..and the only time i cried is the time after jenazah atok's dimandikan and dikafankan...sebelum bahagian muka atok diikat ngan kain kafan, we had the chance to kiss his forehead...i cudnt hold my tears..they just dropped..all the memories of atok and us(he used to send and pick me and my sibs from school b4 he was paralyzed) flash in front of me..(the imam told us we cudnt let the tears touch atok or his wudhu' akan terbatal) i hv to really2 cry before i kissed him...tsk tsk tsk...i really miss atok...atok..we really miss u! Al-Fatihah..

after ry...i am supposed to get back on the 5th coz i hv class on the 6th, but im going back only on the ticket abes la)...heeeee :D balek lmbt mmg best, but ble smpai jer KTSN, fuhhhh....full of works!! ngaaaaaaaaaa~~ nak nyesal pon tak guna(coz i really had fun on the raya hols...takde pe nak disesalkan)...then, life goes on...and here i am...on this day...tak lm ag exam...and me?? im still blogging and funny tho...but scary be exact, my finals will start in about 11 more days( i havent finish my revision, not even a subject..but i started tho)...hmmm..ape akan jd?? i dont know...all i know is i hv to struggle crazily(!!) hard(sbb midterm tak brp sgt)..huhu...well, im not worry myself coz i know how i study...i guess there's no need to worry if u know how u perform..i mean, how i perform in the revision..people might judge me, but im the only one who know myself better(maybe, ohh, except my parents)...risau2 takdela smpai depressed...but hey, i do hv OCD...u know...i hv this very obsessive-compulsive disease which i tend to always arrange my ape...dh susun berkali2 pun nak susun ag..not to mention...susunan pun perlu sm...i mean the edge of every piece of paper kene dh jd nh...

oh ya...i hv a new's been like over a year(almost 2 yrs) im into lately jd cam gle sgt2 going to buy my sony a200k/w dslr!!! ngaaaa...tak sabarnye!! =) hope dad's ok with it...hihihi(tak mampu nak pakai duit sndiri...wekkk)..

i think that's all for now...toodles y'all!! =)