Of the living and the dead

First of all, ada 2 cerita nak bagi tau. A good news and a bad one. 

The good news is my lil bro dapat 11A's for his SPM. Congrats dear! Paling best, company ayah nih reward RM50 per A, minimum result 6A, untuk anak staf. Jeles gila! Masa aku dulu Ayah tak kerja ctuh lagi. Cissss! Melepas!!

Kakak dia yang gabra sepanjang malam. Tak boleh blah asik dok fikir camna result adik kan. He did well, good for him. Scored like the rest of his elder bros and me. Alhamdulillah.

Of the bad ones.

Tadi pukul sebelas lebih dapat call dari my dad. Ingatkan apa hal lah dia call banyak kali in an hour kan. Selain nak bg tau result SPM adik tuh.

Rupanya my grandaunt, elder sister of my grandma had passed away. Slightly a few minutes before my dad call. Dalam 30minutes after my lil bro dapat result dia. Around 11am-ish. Dia takda family sendiri, which means anak-anak and cucu-cucu adik dia adalah family dia. So memang dia duduk satu rumah dengan my grandma dari dulu sampai sekarang.

It's kinda shock. I am stunned. Tak tau nak react macam mana. The last time I saw her masa raya aidilfitri tahun lepas. She was still strong at that time, except since dia jatuh dulu, dia pakai tongkat yang 4 kaki tuh untuk berjalan. 

Seriously, rasa sangat terkejut. Rasa macam nak balik kampung and see her face for the last time. Dia selalu senyum-senyum kat aku bila aku balik kampung. Aku kan jarang balik kampung. Selalu balik pun kalau ada cuti panjang and hari raya. So tiap kali balik, dia excited sangat. Berebut-rebut dia nak kitaorang salam dia jugak. Cute. And now she's gone. Forever. 

Dia selalu duduk dekat satu kerusi tuh and that was her spot untuk tengok tv. Takda orang kacau tempat dia tuh. Dia bukan jenis bercakap sangat unless dia nak tanya apa-apa jer lah.

OMG! Memang akan rasa lain sangat lah the next time dia balik. Kesian dia. I called my cousin dekat Sibu nak tanya macam-macam lah. I mean, aku tak tau pun dia sakit sampai macam tuh sekali. Aku ingat dia cuma tak boleh jalan sangat. Then my cousin told me dia dah sakit for 2 weeks. Terlantar tak boleh bangun. On diapers semua. Dulu selalu berebut toilet dengan dia. Dia jenis bangun awal gila untuk mandi. Tiap hari dia lah dulu masuk toilet. Sekarang dah takda rebut-rebut dah. Huuuuuw. Sad!!!!

And my cousin bagi tau, malam tadi lah paling teruk. Dia muntah-muntah dengan sangat teruk. It seems like her organ macam dah tak kuat. Terberak banyak kali and stuff. Then my cousin cakap, pagi tadi sempat dia tukarkan diapers. Then, dia cakap lagi pagi tadi my grandaunt pesan kat my grandma, which is her younger sis, untuk bukak cincin yang ada pada dia. As if she knows right?

Aku doakan roh dia dicucuri rahmat dan berada di kalangan orang beriman.

Hari nih besday my cousin jugak. Adik kepada cousin aku yang aku mentioned above. Hari nih keluar result SPM adik aku and 2 cousin aku lagi. How am I to react? Huhuhuhuhuh.

Nek buk, kamek mintak maaf kamek sikda dengan kitak kinek tok. Kamek sedih kamek sekpat nangga kitak for the last time. You will be missed. A lot. Kamek sikkan lupak senyuman kitak yang selalu manis jak bila nyambut kamek datang Sibu. You were always one of the first to greet me everytime kamek datang Sibu. And you were always the last one standing at the balcony when I left Sibu. You never fail to send me off. Kamek tauk kitak sik pernah berganjak bila kamek ninggalkan rumah Sibo until kitak dah sik nampak kamek gik. You are the most thoughtful person I ever met. I will miss you so much, Nek Buk! Kamek janji, kelak kamek abis study tok, kamek pergi Sibu, kamek agak umah baru kitak k? I never say this, but I do love you. You were one of the person I was always looking forward to meet everytime I step my foot in Sibu. That's why i always asked for you bila kamek sik nampak kitak depan pintu masa kamek sampei. 

Al-fatihah.

p/s: It's true, kita hanya akan mula hargai seseorang bila kita tau dia dah tak ada bersama kita selamanya. And in this case, I failed to let Nek Buk knows that I love her so much, just like how much I love my own grandma. I'm sorry I couldnt be there right now, Nek Buk.