arguing is sucks~! and finals even worse!

hey..

it's the 4th day of finals(which is actually 3 weeks in total, with 8 days of gap). i feel so damn miserable(not that i don't do my revision). know y? cause i don't have the exam fever(boo-yah! i supposed to have it like a day before exam). and this scares me off cause i only feel so very damn calm when things are getting very bad. very very bad. and guess what? it was bad! cause i have this feeling that i will FAIL my biochemistry and physiology(just pray that i won't fail). ngaaaa~!! really, i never had this failing-the-papers feeling, you know. and it really freaks me out. tsk tsk tsk.

now, back to my non-finals life. everything seems perfectly normal with K(which i don't think i prefer to mention his full name here). and K is not his initial, it's H. so, K. what about him? he's really a nice guy. a good friend. a best friend indeed(no further details of K will be provided) until we got into this UGLY fight. we fought about this stupid anti-depressing pills(he's on this medication, up for some reasons, too personal to state here). i guess it's my PMS to be blame too. i was so emotional about it, which i think because of the PMS. i should think about his condition before i could be a genius and said something(which i foolishly thought will calm him) which in turn i realized will not comfort him but makes things worse! (stupido me!) how stupid for me to bring up the stories(which made him took the medication) and then acted as genius saying all those STUPID advise which everyone had told him before me(again, stupid stupid stupid!) and now, he's not even YM-ing me, and for some stupid reasons too, i dont have his number now! arrghhh!! i feel very bad!

i hope all those things i said won't make him take any pills. i don't want to be his other reason to take those pills. enough with his previous experience which made him took it in the first place. damn! i feel worse now. i can't contact him. he's not YM-ing(i am not sure if he's online or not cause he's always invisible) i don't have his number now. i don't know how to reach him. i don't even have his friends' numbers(which is even worse) . i left hundreds of offline messages on his YM. he's not replying any of it which makes me wonder what have/had happen to him. i don't like this feelings cause everytime i have bad feeling, it turns out to be true. help me God! i hope he's just busy with his life(he turned out to be a workaholic since the bad experience). i hope he's fine. i hope it's just the fact that he's busy with his work, like he always did(he rarely online on YM when he's too busy with works). and i miss him. i miss the way he always makes me smile and laugh. i miss his sarcastism. i miss his narcissism. i just miss my friend and i want him back in my life. where are you K? i am really sorry. nothing more i can say. just sorry. i am so sorry.

well peepz. that's all for now i guess. and i am really miserable thinking about K. i wish it never happen(foolish said). i am out of here! till next time!